Daily Hate

I'm sick of hearing about Twilight. This book is the bane of being a high school aged female in 2008. The movie adaptation was released yesterday and all of these annoying giddy girls in my English class saw it at midnight on Thursday night and gushed about it all through class. Then I came home and, of course, all of my favorite movie critics had reviewed it and hated it. They all did realize though that it doesn't matter what they have to say since fangirls will think this is the OMG BEST MOVIE EVER MADE. Here are the reasons I will never see or read the Twilight series:

1. It's a huge metaphor for conservative values -
There is a protagonist named Bella and a vampire named Edward. He really wants to drink her blood or something and so he can't get close to her because the temptation is just too much, and in the heat of the moment, it's really hard to stop. Teenage abstinence? Check. Then I read that in a later book, after the couple has married, Bella is carrying a demon child but won't abort and will probably die giving birth. Anti-abortion? Check. I guess the conservative crowd has started pushing it on girls at a young age. I would be a very disappointed mother if this is what my kids were reading.

2. The fans are psychotic - The guy who plays the vampire in this movie did some mall appearance or something and teenage girls with bleeding scratches on their neck would come up to him and say "Look, I did this for you." Oh, and there's this video.

3. It's just fucking ridiculous and gives girls the wrong idea about what love actually is causing many males and females of my generation to live in unhappy marriages.

hater

Firstly, I know nothing about the Twilight series or the movie adaptation that is about to be released, plot-wise. I have never read the books and don't plan to. I already know that I hate this story, these characters and basically everything about this entire franchise. The Twilight fans are some of the most annoying people in existence (I used to think that the LOTR and Harry Potter fans were terrible, now they're hardly noticeable, in fact do they even still exist? all I hear is this Twilight hullabullo), lusting over a fictitious character is really lame. A factious vampire? A new echelon of pathetic. Girls in my English class talk about this book as if it's the next big romance or something. Really? The overview of these characters' relationship that I have been given goes something like this:

Edward: Bella, I love you!
Bella: How can you love me? You're perfect and beautiful. And I trip on stuff!
Edward: You smell good, obviously... Let's cuddle!
Bella: OK!

Oh wow, I might faint from all the dizzying, sweep-you-off-your-feet romanticism.

Secondly, why is this being so heavily publicized at Comic Con? It's not a comic book. It's some lame quasi-sci-fi vampire crap for teenage girls who get off on reading Anne Rice. I understand the promotion of films like the upcoming Wolverine and Watchmen, they belong there, but not Twilight. Getting girls into Comic Con through Twilight is really cheap and frankly insulting.

It's dandy and all that teeny boppers and at least reading something, but I just wish they were sensible enough to read something better than a bored Mormon housewife's fantasy version of this vampiric love. It's just another thing in the world reminding young girls that they won't be happy without a guy by their side. It's sad, and why I will never see or read Twilight.